Breakdown: The Cam Newton media workout you didn't see

Heisman Trophy and BCS championship-winning quarterback Cam Newton continued his preparation for the upcoming NFL draft Thursday with a public workout for approximately three dozen very impressed members of the media at a San Diego high school. Here's some of what they saw:

And here are some of the highlights you haven't seen:

• Newton missed on seven passes. Three of those, however, were drops, and three of the other four were balls that had been secretly filled with nonperishable food and medical supplies, cleared by the Federal Aviation Administration and launched by Newton into the open cargo holds of humanitarian planes already en route to aid flood victims in Pakistan.

• To demonstrate his improved mechanics, Newton's movements were initially tracked by software designed to measure balance, torque and velocity. The plan had to be abandoned, however, when the program admitted it could no longer be objective, because it had fallen in love.

• To give them the full effect, Newton randomly zipped several balls just inches from the heads of the dozen or so reporters who "upgraded" to the 3D glasses Cecil Newton was selling before the show.

• Eleven high school girls (and one boy) were escorted from the field after breaking out in prolonged fits of Beatle-like hysteria. Hundreds more were found just outside the stadium's perimeter, having fainted on sight.

• Upon discovering an undercover pro scout in their ranks, reporters interrupted the proceedings to give the interloper a red belly, a squirreler, two snoring dragons and a prickly ankle before leaving him taped to a goal post, where he continued to be pleasantly surprised by Newton's mechanics from under center.

• After the workout, Newton joked with reporters that he liked San Diego so much he planned to "have a surfing party at the house," even though he'd never been on a surfboard. By sundown, he was ranked as the No. 1 surfer in the world.

• At one point, Newton interrupted a drill to save Hall of Fame mentor Warren Moon from a sudden attack by a trio of coyotes, which he achieved by patiently capturing each animal's gaze with his own and silently ordering them back into the wilderness.

• Over the course of the afternoon, Newton was variously offered a key to the city, a congressional seat, his own talk show, Trent Dilfer's Super Bowl ring, honorary membership in the Rolling Stones, a spot in the bullpen of the San Diego Padres, unlimited access to the entire stocks of five local car dealerships, a seat on the first human mission to Mars, several hundred head of cattle, thousands of hands in marriage, and an automatic spot on every U.S. Olympic team, including archery, the decathlon and beach volleyball. (Especially beach volleyball.) Newton claimed to be unaware of any of the offers, however, and asked if he could stop for some ice cream on the way home.

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Clip via Bryan Fisher.
Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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