Confirming months of speculation, former starting quarterback Tate Forcier formally announced his departure from Michigan just after midnight this morning in a series of tweets that amounted to a full press release. On both fronts, he was fulfilling something of a family tradition: Before Tate, his older brother, Jason, transferred from Ann Arbor after being passed for the starting job by true freshman Chad Henne in 2004, and his other brother, Chris, announced his exit from UCLA in 2009 in one of the most bizarre press releases of the last decade, issued through the Forcier family website, www.QBForce.com.In fact, though Tate's "Dear John" letter to Michigan is shorter, cleaner and mercifully free of the blow-by-blow recap of recruiting accolades that cluttered up his brother's farewell to UCLA, the two efforts are remarkably similar in . Which Forcier parting shot sent its author off with the most aplomb, or least lack thereof? Let's go to the tape…
• Awkward rhetorical flourish.
Chris: Instead of conventional paragraphs, delivered statement as a succession of "Facts," with each new graf preceded by the word "FACT," even for such non-falsifiable statements as, "I believe my UCLA teammates respect me."
Tate: Opened statement with the rhetorical question, "Why do we all wait until we are at our lowest point to seek God’s help?"
Advantage: Chris. How can you trust anything that's not introduced right up front as fact?
• Melodramatic description of routine adversity.
Chris: "Fact: New QB Coach Norm Chow and New Head Coach Rick Neuheisel have brought in and played since day (1) their own guys (Quarterbacks) i.e. Kevin Craft. … Fact: In late February New QB Coach Norm Chow told me that the younger guys would get most of the QB reps in Spring Ball."
Tate: "I’ve been kicked, pushed, knocked down, publicly berated, belittled, emasculated and more."
Advantage: Tate. Everyone faces competition for their job, but few are forced to go through a regimen of actual physical torture.
• Positioning oneself as a victim in the process of denying victimhood.
Chris: "Fact: This is a pattern nationally. When New Coaches come in, they recruit their own guys, especially at the quarterback position. It's just like the corporate world, New Owners bring in New Management. With that being said, I do not fault them."
Tate: "There are plenty of legitimate reasons to give up or feel the victim. The humility of it all is indescribable and that is exactly my point. I had to reach rock bottom in order to see the light, and for that, I am thankful. It was not until then, I realized that it was my lack of accountability and maturity and not to pass blame."
Advantage: Chris. Corporate analogies and Random Capitalization are the Secret Keys of driving home any Argument.
• Example of hard work and commitment.
Chris: "Fact: I've always worked hard in the classroom as a student athlete where I've been recognized as a UCLA Honor Roll student. … Fact: I've competed hard in games and on the practice field, in film and meetings where I've always come prepared, attentive, always taking notes."
Tate: "I can proudly state, "I worked hard on the practice field, in the film room and at meetings" after all, football is my passion."
Advantage: Chris. For at least mentioning the "student" part.
Chris: "Fact: I've always been a 'team player' and have done what has been asked of me. Including but not limited to practicing WR in this years spring ball. Not to be confused with moving permanently to the position as it was again inaccurately reported."
Tate: "I even competed hard while injured as a true freshman through the last (8) games in 2009, but I always played the game giving it my all."
Advantage: Tate. Again, he was hurt, man.
• Fondest memory.
Chris: "Fact: I was practice player of the week as a freshman multiple times."
Tate: "I had fun celebrating with the fans."
Advantage: Tate. You talkin' about practice, Chris?
• Expression of ultimate, enduring love for the university.
Chris: "Fact: I'm a life long UCLA Fan. I love UCLA Football. Most Bruin fans have been very supportive/good people."
Tate: "I am proud to have been part of Michigan Football history and will always cherish the memory. […] Tate Forcier #5 - A Michigan Man Forever - Go Blue."
Advantage: Chris. He's talking straight to the people, man, cuz he's one of them.
• Fleeting glimpse of festering grievance at the core of the entire exercise.
Chris: "In 2007, I was (1) of the top (7) Quarterbacks in the country. However, none of that matters unless there is true opportunity to compete afforded."
Tate: "The last few weeks I worked extremely hard to catch back up. I really wanted to stay. I was not giving up on Michigan, but in the end, it was made clear they had given up on me."
Advantage: Chris. It always helps to back up arguments with statistics.
• Parting shot.
Chris: "Fact: I have reached my decision 'Furman University' Greenville, South Carolina. … Fact: I like and believe in Head Coach Bobby Lamb's system and style. I am looking forward to the challenges at Furman University. … Fact: I would like to wear #7 as I did in High School at Saint Augustine in San Diego, California. … Fact: I want to be part of the 'Greatness of Fuhman University' academic's."
Tate: "With that being said, its time for me to go. I promise the Michigan family and fans I will make you proud again."
Advantage: Tate. Obviously.
Verdict: The older brother comes out slightly ahead, but in fairness to Tate, it may be another generation before anyone in any family tops the tour du Forcier Chris dropped on the college football world two years ago. There are no losers here.
Well, except the English teachers who attempted to teach these guys how to write and the copy editors who had to print their statements verbatim. What this family really needs is someone with a P.R. degree.
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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.
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