• We are working to address your potentially actionable concerns. Iowa has launched a 90-day investigation to "identify the root causes" of the outbreak of a muscle syndrome, rhabdomyolysis, that sent 13 Hawkeye players to the hospital earlier this week. If there was any doubt, we can cross off drug use: All 13 players reportedly tested negative for illegal substances, presumably including cocaine and methamphetamine, which are among the many known causes of the syndrome.
In the meantime, coach Kirk Ferentz returned Wednesday from recruiting in Ohio to "a group of frustrated parents" who were upset that Ferentz and athletic director Gary Barta were both no-shows for Wednesday's press conference, held 36 hours after the hospitalizations. "Kirk took a lot of (stuff)," an anonymous source told the Sporting News. "But he stood there and took it all. He's been incredibly remorseful." [Des Moines Register, Sporting News]
• Because no one goes to Vegas to see the sun. UNLV is set to unveil plans for a multipurpose sports and entertainment complex that will include a domed stadium for the Runnin' Rebel football team, per the Las Vegas Sun. The university has been in discussions with Los Angeles real estate tycoon Ed Roski – last seen trying to leverage his billions to lure an NFL team to L.A. – and is expected to formally announce the project next week. [Las Vegas Sun]
Elsewhere, the Louisiana Superdome is undergoing an $85 million makeover to convert its iconic bowl shape into "a jazzier, new rectangular configuration" that will add about 8,000 seats and 16 private suites. You know, to accommodate all those rabid Tulane fans. [Associated Press]
• Think of the children. Hard-up columnists across the country hungrily pounced on the first meme of the offseason, using rogue booster Robert Burton's rebellion at UConn to collectively warn America's athletic directors of a system covertly ruled by self-interested millionaires lurking in the shadows. "The way that fundraising is supposed to work is that the athletic department goes to the donor and says, "Here's our plan. Here's our vision. Will you support us?'" wrote ESPN's Ivan Maisel. "If the donor believes in the vision, he writes a check."
Shockingly, Oklahoma State mega-booster T. Boone Pickens has a slightly different take: "You always have time for people who are putting up the money. That just makes all the sense in the world," Pickens told USA Today. "You can't ignore those people. I mean, they've paid their money, and they're entitled to be informed." [ESPN, Dallas Morning News, Syracuse Post-Dispatch, USA Today]
• Ruffer gets his ride. Notre Dame walk-on David Ruffer, a former intramural player who finished the 2010 regular season as the only I-A/FBS kicker without a miss on field goal attempts, was one of six Irish seniors to apply for a fifth year of eligibility from the school on Thursday. The process is Notre Dame's formal way of accommodating redshirts, but it also confirms last week's reports that Ruffer will be on scholarship in the fall; otherwise, he probably wouldn't be coming back. [Chicago Tribune]
Quickly… The NCAA introduces a new fund for injured athletes. … Mountain West commish Craig Thompson clears up a few questions about the conference's quest for an automatic BCS bid and the middle finger it gave TCU. … In a shocking turn, Brice Butler's father thinks his son got a raw deal from Lane Kiffin. … Jon Embree suggests Colorado's kickers "over-kicked" in practice under the old coaching staff. … Outgoing Boston College tackle Anthony Castonzo chronicles his week at the Senior Bowl. … Georgia students appeal to the administration to relax tailgating rules. … Michigan fans in the Cult of Barwis can now officially subscribe to the Barwis Method. … Gus Malzahn draws a crowd at a Mississippi coaching clinic. Ball's in your court, Alabama. … Oversigning.com actually agrees with Nick Saban about something, but still gets taken down by SEC apologists. … And most Oregon fans can't bring themselves to watch the championship game again. But what are you supposed to do when God is on the other side?
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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.
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